If unrequited love or loneliness became your usual state, it means that the problem is neither in men surrounding you nor in your fatally bad luck, but in you yourself. According to the psychologists’ opinions, there are several “kinds of behavior”, which result into the “unrequited love stories” and prevent us from building normal relationships.
1. You prefer the inaccessible men exclusively, not the ones who really like you. Your motto is: the one who is easily accessible, is not able to interest you. In this case you cannot count on reciprocal feeling. You yourself don’t let you love the one who loves you! Some women explain it with the fact that they strive to overcome difficulties. In reality the matter is in their low self-esteem. You cannot feel for the man having such a bad taste for women that he could fall in love with you. And you keep on asking yourself: “Why does he love me I wonder?”
2. You give more than you get in your relationship. In this case don’t make your partner being the taker, or he will take an advantage of this situation – that’s just the human nature. If there is the door mat in front of the door with “Wipe your feet” written on it, the most part of people will do exactly so. Learn to love yourself the way to make you being able not just give love but also get it in return.
3. Men leave you without any evident reason. It seems like you have nothing to blame yourself for: you didn’t raise a stink and didn’t nag him, you never demanded too much, you always tried to avoid conflicts. So, maybe that’s the point? You should never avoid problems, but discuss them. In other case, they either accumulate and explode one day like a bomb (in your case the “explosion” means the break up with your partner), or your partner starts thinking that neither your common problems nor he himself interest you any more. Somebody told once: “Love the ones who love you and then you will avoid lots of troubles in life”. Partly it’s true. Not to let such a wonder as reciprocal feeling pass you by, revise your attitudes as for love. It can really turn out that you need to change them.
4. “I will hide in the dark closet”. To let the mutual love come into your life you should let it into your heart. You will hardly ever go to see somebody who doesn’t want you to come, will you? So why the real love should come to the life of the person who rejects it with all of her strength? Be open for love, wait sincerely for it to come to your life, and it won’t keep you waiting for long. Remember the happiest of your love stories. Make you feel deeply the feelings you had at that time for once more and try to keep it in your memory. You should also know that love is happiness , but not the pain you possibly had once in your life. The reason why you don’t let the love come into your heart is possibly the fact that you accepted that it always feels like pain.
5. “I am what I am”. One day one of my friends decided to find out what exactly spurns the men from her, just to get read of all of those drawbacks after. After “having analyzed” all of the men’s opinions, it turned out that her attractive appearance and intelligence are exactly the things that spurn young men in her. “You’d better spread some soot on your face – one “competent” representative of the stronger sex advised to her, - because in other case men feel uncomfortable by your side”. My friend honestly did her best to look like the average girl, but in three weeks she was sick and tired of that idea, and turned into the dazzlingly beautiful blond. It is stupid to ignore or suppress what you really are (apart from your weak points, of course – as for them, you should accept that you have ones and try to improve yourself). It would be wiser for you to find the man who really admires your intelligence, the color of your hair, your loud voice or a couple of odd kilos on our hips. Love yourself and others will love you too!
6. “Spending the long nights with somebody we don’t love and with somebody who don’t love us”. Maybe you are not rejected, but still are ignored evidently enough for you to understand: you are not an important person in his life. And feeling bored, being in despair and willing to revenge, you start the relationship with not the right person for you or maybe even married or having other relationship, or something. You try to convince yourself, that this won’t last for long, just until you find your true love. But as we know, nothing is as constant as timely things… Imagine the public transport: if the seat next to you is engaged, nobody will be able to take it. If your thoughts are all about the person you have no future with, you will hardly think of anybody else, or maybe you will, but not as much as you should. If you love yourself, and dream about happiness, muster up your strength and break up with the person you don’t really love. It really scares: you stay in emptiness and feel uncertain. “What if I never find my person… Here I have at least somebody and something…”. But what should scare you more is the idea that keeping for a long time the unpromising relationship you can miss your only chance.
7. “His heart is frozen”. You are ready to do everything long enough for him, and he never has time for you. You surround him with care, and he just takes coldly everything you do for him. You are confused, you suffer, but you continue doing the same things hopping that it will change one day and your love will be able to break the ice in his soul. But you love more and more, and the ice gets thicker and thicker. You climb up these ice rocks, and it breaks your heart, making it bleed, and it all ends up in the fact you finally fail. There is still the hope for the better in your soul… It’s a pity, but you’ve chosen not the right man, he is not just your person. The woman feels without any doubt when she isn’t loved, but she is afraid to accept it. It is really terrible, but (it sounds strange but still) once you accept it, you become stronger enough to start living the new life.
8. “Give me just one chance, and you will understand: I am what you need”. Don’t reject all of the men who didn’t impress you from the first sight. It seems to us that we for sure know what is the right type of men for us, and what is absolutely not. Some of us don’t like the ones wearing a beard and a moustache, others hate the ones wearing yellow boots. My sister, for example, hated the men wearing the tracksuits outside the gym. She considered them to be so to say not bright. For three months she ignored the speaking looks, casted by the guy in a dark blue tracksuit standing at the parking every time she was turning back home from work. I managed to convince her at least give him a smile instead of suffering of her “unpromising” relationship. The guy turned to be a very good man. At the age of 15 he and his father had an accident, after which he almost couldn’t move. But he not just managed to get back on his feet, but also helped to lots of people, who experienced the main problems, by having opened a special sports school!
9. “Relax and enjoy”. Doing what? Living your own life! Do so even if you don’t have any evident reasons to be happy. Nobody has to make us happy apart from ourselves! Be happy about any little unimportant things, about the victory over yourself. Do you know what I was proud of all of the day yesterday? Of not just giving a smile, but also of giving a wink at a very attractive young man. It is not typical for me to do so, it was always difficult for me to show my liking for the man, and the more I liked somebody, the more I pretended to be “an unassailable fortress”. What if he doesn’t care about me, or he wants to offend me? Of course, everything is possible. But you will never know for sure until you try to find it out. Even if you were rejected, take it easy. Do you know what is positive about it? You know for sure that you shouldn’t cherish any hopes for this person, and it means you won’t waste your time. And there won’t be any unrequited love story.
Other articles:
The way I looked for a real man
Are there no romantic men left?
Office Flirtation – is it allowed?
The Ways Men Win Our Hearts
Amenities of Bachelorhood
