What qualities must have a girl so a man would like to marry her? Why is it so difficult for some men to find a life partner? We will try to shed light on these mysteries. It is believed that men and women view marriage and family differently. Women start imagining the wedding day since childhood while we, men, secretly hope that wedding will soon be abolished altogether. Women often complain that they are surrounded by inveterate bachelors who are reluctant to go with them down the altar however it is often just the opposite. Men unlike women find it more difficult to find a life partner.
Women by the age of 18 have already an image of future husband created in their minds. The question is how realistic is this image? At least it is definite; future husband must be: a. well educated; b. have blonde hair; c. wear glasses and so on till the last letter in the alphabet. And what is going on in men’s mind? Nothing definite, just some abstractions like: she must not be a slut, jealous, stupid, one-legged…
To create a clear image based on “mustn’t” is virtually impossible. Therefore men throw themselves in the turmoil of new relationships guided by a vague, uncertain image of a woman they are looking for. For the same reason they are often disappointed in their choice since they initially do not know what exactly do they want.
On one hand it is sad since it makes men’s life more complicated but on the other hand it makes it easier for women! To be an ideal wife she just has to meet some “Mustn’t” requirements. What woman considers her virtue may well be a “mustn’t” for a man when choosing his future wife and a mother of his children. Willingness to follow him to the other end of the world. An idea to quit everything and become a tram driver or to go to Tahiti to paint natives occurs in every man’s mind at some point. Some men are stupid enough to share these ideas with their girlfriends and these naïve wife candidates believe that they are supposed to gladly chatter something like: “Whatever you decide sweetheart, I’m with you!” Wrong answer!
I mean, no doubt, it is good to know that there are women ready to give up the comfort they are used to and forget common sense, however we , men, usually marry other women who are practical, have strong head and capable to answer: “Are you crazy? How are we supposed to make our living?” It is more practical to choose a woman without romantic illusions who will not ran away with some maverick giving away to momentary impulse.
Total trust. The only thing worse of all-consuming jealousy is total lack of it. If your lover says that he is going to meet with his ex because he hasn’t seen her for ages, telling him that it is completely up to him while meaningfully rubbing kitchen knives is not a good idea. A potential wife should be able to find a way to defend her happiness rather then hiding her resentment, taking revenge or enduring quietly, and most importantly she will not turn a blind eye to a problem. Total trust does not really exist. It's a nice euphemism for indifference which is inadmissible between the spouses.
Constant complains. If a woman is constantly whining instead of looking for ways to improve a situation she is not a marriage material. It is even worse if she is neither happy with her man nor with herself. We are ready to provide support and to give a shoulder however you have to climb it up by yourself. If all you do is complaining about your life, bosses, mother, girlfriends without trying to change something then it is not going to work for us. To be a husband is not easy as it is but to combine it with crises management is too much for anyone. Imperturbability. Men enjoy drinking. Some do it in moderation. It’s better to know in advance how I behave on public when I have a bit too much to drink. No matter what I do, singing ABBA songs in karaoke, picking up a fight or falling asleep in the hall cuddling with owner’s dog, you should not turn a blind eye to it.
A random date who cares about her reputation more then mine can afford to stay cool in this situation but a future wife cannot do it because in her eyes it is an embarrassment not just for me but for both of us. At the same time she should not make a public scene either. She should find a way to prevent such situations altogether or make me a dressing-down next morning at home. Wife is like a good boss who praises on public but criticizes in private.
Being too meddlesome. “Do you still love me” question is one three things a man would prefer possibly never to hear from a woman especially from a hearth and home keeper. Such questions as “Did you like it?” “Why are you so sad today?” “Did you like the food?” make her sound like some random person. A potential wife should not ask these questions because she knows very well if her husband is quite it doesn’t mean that something’s happened. Sometimes men need some space and privacy.
No interests. Even the most patient of us won’t be able to answer “how soon” question more then five times a day. If you phone your boyfriend more often then he does then he might be as well wondering whether to make you or someone else his wife.
Complete submission to a man is great, and men as well sometimes get lost in the ocean of romance and passion of new relationship however, we would like to have some guarantee that women when things start settling down bit by bit won’t get lost in this ocean forever sending us continual signals like “I miss you!”, “Do come!”, “Where are you?”
I mean woman should have something else in her life apart from relationships to keep her busy then it will be easier to deal with vacuum that inevitably replaces the romance. What these interests are doesn’t really matter; it could be shopping with girlfriends, yoga or stuffing toys with felt. The most important that man won’t start every time the phone rings and scream in it: “Where are you?”. Then everybody will be happy.
Related articles:
Why men are so reluctant to get married?
What is the best way to choose a man?
Why do some people always find love and others are lonely?
