Yesterday I was asked once again: “What should women, who feel uncomfortable and are afraid of getting acquainted with men, do?” I understand quite well that there are people who do not feel completely comfortable, when they try to make acquaintances. That is why I’m going to give you the basic advices in the given article.
For starters, do the following exercise in order to initiate a contact with confidence in any circumstances: say hello affably and with a smile to all people you encounter in everyday life (sellers, people in your office block, everyone you meet on one or another occasion). It will quickly become your good habit, and you will be able to greed an unknown man, whom you like, openly and without embarrassment wherever you meet him. But do it more sincere and convincingly.
Remember: any action is better than inaction, if you want to make the acquaintance of someone. In case you don’t do anything, you simply miss all opportunities, but if you do at least anything, you may achieve some results without risking anything. The worst thing that can happen to you is that a man won’t play your game. Besides, you cultivate your uncertainty by avoiding actions. It is worth mentioning that you should act immediately at the moment when you understand that you like a man. Otherwise inhibition mechanisms will come into effect and you will start doubting and worrying and, as a result, your desire will stumble over indecision. The only thing you still should take into account is that your actions will be more effective if you interchange glances. You should always take such position relative to a man in order to be able to meet his eyes. If you come to a man from behind or stand next to him, you find yourself in a position disadvantageous for communication.
Some people show lack of self-confidence when making acquaintances because they lack social behavior skills. That is why the more you act the more confidence you get and the more natural and free your deeds look. Successful actions broaden your comfort zone, increase self-appraisal and make a man more free in expression his feelings and needs. Self-confidence in many respects is an ability to positively appraise your own qualities, abilities and achievements. Positive appraisal on your loves ones’ part is another component of self-confidence. If you have faith in yourself, refusals won’t take notable effect on you. Self-confidence is not a demonstration of superiority, but knowledge of your abilities.
Don’t do anything for show. An intentional demonstration, most likely, suggests lack of self-confidence. Don’t give your interlocutor an overrated mark during a conversation, and don’t give yourself an underrated mark either. Never justify yourself, but also don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know or don’t understand some things. Ask for explanation with confidence. Constructive approach will lead you to knowledge and solution, which means you will get rid of doubts. You should act in a state “I can”, but not in a state “I’ll try”.
When you initiate a contact, you shouldn’t think about what you will get. You should concentrate on the process instead and make a man feel your positive impulse. And if you are sure that you are interested in this man, your main goal at this stage should be creation of a motive for continuation of contact. It is desirable that you develop a situation in such a way that your interlocutor comes to a similar conclusion by himself. Experiment and enjoy.
When you act, it is inevitable that you learn something, gain new experience and feelings and improve your social skills. It well may be that you won’t be able to establish and maintain contact with ease at once. Free communication requires skills, and experience has a crucial importance here. That is why you should use any opportunity to practice. Anyway, you should be in a positive mood and ready to play this game. You should take acquaintances exactly as a game; it will give you more confidence and ardour and create additional advantages. People are more detached, when they play games, and they put themselves in a certain situation in advance. If you have no fears and doubts, you can make acquaintances and flirt easily and effectively.
It is absolutely unnecessary to take unsuccessful attempts as a defeat and feel hurt. There are a lot of different circumstances beyond your control that make an attempt to make the acquaintance of a concrete person less successful than you expected. And even if a person reacts inadequately to your attempt to make the acquaintance, you especially shouldn’t worry about that. Apparently, this man is in a bad mood and he should take care of himself, so let him solve his own difficulties. This has nothing to do with you, so don't lose any sleep over it! It is much better to take any contact as a lesson. The more lessons you learn the more knowledge you get. Consider any refusal as a useful test on the way to mastery. Things you really know are your tools. And you won’t have any difficulties in case you have to use these tools.
Other articles:
The Ways Men Win Our Hearts
Where do the ideal husbands live?
How can a woman find and hold a man?
Misalliance when husband is younger
Simple recipes of ideal relationships
